Ninja Job Listings
by MJ.Ride
Summary: Okay, so these are jobs that the ninjas probably shouldn't have...each chapter is a different character. I fixed it, so its a story now instead of a list. It meets guidelines this time, I promise. So come read it and share the love and laughter! Only rated T for paranoia...


**A/N: Hey all you guys! This is the edited first chapter. I now have a partner for it, since I never have time for creativity like the sort needed for this. I create a list, she sends back and outline, I type the chapter, and she edits it for me. It's really awesome. Thanks so much Flame! You're the best! Anyway, here's the revised version! Enjoy!**

"Ugh," Naruto sighed. "Days like these are the worst. No missions, no training, no excitement, and absolutely no fun." _Ew, I sound like Sasuke, _he thought. _What to do, what to do? There has to be something._

Oh, there was. There was something to do. And what might that something be, you ask? Why, a trip to Ichiraku's, of course!

"Oji-chan!" Naruto called.

The man looked up. "Ah, hello Naruto! What can I do for you?"

Naruto laughed. "Seriously, old man? I come here all the time, is it that much of a mystery?" He slid into a seat at the counter. "I need ramen."

The man laughed. "Coming right up."

Thirty minutes later, Naruto was finally full. "Thanks, Oji-chan!" He got up to leave.

"W-wait Naruto!" They owner called. Naruto looked back, confused. "It's the end of the month. Time to pay up."

Naruto glanced warily at the twenty-something bowls he'd just finished. "Heh heh. Right." In truth, he'd completely forgotten about his tab. "About that, how much was it again?"

"7500 Yen."

Naruto gulped. He pulled out his froggy wallet sadly, then noticed it was surprisingly light. He looked inside and gasped. His money was gone! But how?

_Oh, that's right, _he thought. _There was that time on the last mission when Pervy Sage asked for a loan. Something about "important research" or whatever, not that I believed a word of it._

Naruto looked up sheepishly. The owner sighed. "Look, I'll make you a proposition. You have three days to get the money. If you don't bring it by then, you are banned from Ichiraku forever."

"What?" Naruto yelped. But the old man wouldn't budge. Naruto left the shop sadly. He took off quickly, then realized he had no clue where he could get money. As he walked around the corner, he bumped into somebody, knocking them both backwards. "Hey, watch where you're—" he began, but stopped when he saw who it was. Hinata stood up and bowed deeply.

"I'm so sorry, Naruto! Are you okay? It's all my fault!" she stammered.

Naruto waved dimissively. "Don't worry about it. Oh, by the way, do you know any ways to make some money?"

"Money?" Hinata blushed and looked away. "Well, um, maybe, um-" Hinata continued to stutter and stammer and blush. As she fidgeted, Naruto noted how weird she was acting.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, it's nothing. I was just thinking maybe you could go on a mission. My team is leaving this afternoon if you'd like to come along."

Naruto shook his head. "No, I don't have that sort of time. Listen, I've gotta go. See you later, Hinata!" With that, he left her standing there all alone.

A few moments later, he ran into Lee outside the Academy and asked the same question.

"Well, Naruto," Lee advised, "You should get money in a Youthful way!" Frowning, Naruto nodded but started backing away warily. Lee waved happily. "Goodbye, Naruto! Believe in the Power of Youth!"

As he was running from Lee, Naruto ran into Choji, who suggested getting money through food somehow. _How typical_, Naruto thought. _Actually, that could work._ He thought for a moment. _I might not like _all_ foods, but I like ramen. I know! I could spread my love of ramen to the world! But who to start with?_

He decided he would begin with Konohamaru and the rest of his class. After about an hour of begging to be allowed to teach the class, Iruka was still refusing. "I didn't think it would come to this, but you leave me no choice!" he cried. "Sexy jutsu!"

In no time at all, his cute blond ponytails and sweet babyish voice convinced to reconsider. Of course, Iruka would probably be in therapy for a while. As Iruka laid bleeding on the floor, the class stared at Naruto with varying expressions ranging from disgust to intrigue. Konohamaru was obviously one of the intrigued.

_You know, this might be obvious, but I don't think I'd be the best role model. I'm glad that's not my job, since I'd suck at it,_ he thought to himself.

He looked at the class. "Today, I'll be teaching the class as your dietician!" The class looked at him with horror. "Ramen is good for you, guys! In fact, you should eat it at every meal!"

Everyone facepalmed. A sweat bead rolled down Naruto's face. _Okay, maybe being a dietician isn't such a good idea_, he thought. "Um, I think I'll be leaving now." With that he ran out the door.

He headed for the front gates of the village. Maybe he could catch up with Hinata's team before they left on the mission. Sadly, they'd already left. Choji's idea hadn't worked, and Lee's made absolutely no sense. At that moment, Tsunade walked up.

"Naruto!" she shouted, making him jump. "Team 8 already left. There's another mission I saved especially for you."

Naruto brightened. "Really? What is it?"

"You have to track down a woman's cat."

"What?" he gasped. "That's so stupid. If I was that cat, I would run away from that fat old woman, too. I won't do it"

"Damn it, Naruto! I don't care about your opinion!" Tsunade yelled. "You'll do the mission and be happy about it, got it?"

"Fine!" Naruto sighed. "I'll do the stupid mission!" He got the directions from Tsunade and headed for the back woods in the outer parts of the village.

As with every time he'd tried alone before, he could not catch the cat. _Good thing I'm not a dog catcher. I can't even catch this stupid cat._

He sat for a moment. "If I were a cat and I was running away from a ninja in a bright orange jumpsuit, where would I go? I know! I bet it's this way!" He ran off into the bushes and over the edge of a small cliff, landing in the river. "Okay, maybe it's that way!" He went in the opposite direction, but got his foot stuck in a rope trap. "Or that way! Over there!" Again, he scurried in another direction, determined to find the cat at all costs. This led him to a dead end. "No, I guess it must be there!" Back he went, still tripping over everything he found. _Guess I can scratch 'navigator' off my list as well_.

Meanwhile, Hinata, who had started to feel a bit sick and stayed behind, was watching Naruto carefully from behind a tree. _Thank goodness Naruto isn't a stalker. He doesn't even noticed when I'm around, so he definitely couldn't do it himself. Oh!_ Hinata saw the cat and scooped it up quickly. It seemed to like her and started purring. She laughed and petted its head. "Naruto, is this what you're looking for?"

Naruto spun around. "Yeah! Thanks Hinata!" He didn't seem to find it the least bit strange she had followed him. She handed him the cat. Unlike Hinata, the cat didn't seem to care for him much and promptly attacked his face.

With drops of blood dripping down his face, Naruto and Hinata brought the cat in. When Naruto had asked Hinata to accompany him back, she'd started stuttering and blushing, and it looked like she was going to faint. Eventually, the two of them got the cat to Lady Tsunade though, and Naruto said his goodbyes to Hinata.

Naruto sat on a building, trying to come up with a plan to get money. This failed miserably, since he was continually distracted. "Oh, a butterfly! Is that ramen I smell? I wonder who's crying…" _I guess I'm not cut out to be a meditation instructor either, if I can't even focus on this. Wait, ramen?_

He followed the scent and ended up back at Ichiraku's. He could see the owner and his daughter trying to cook for over 20 people, but they couldn't make the ramen fast enough. "Hey old man," Naruto called, "let me help you!"

The owner agreed, even though Naruto was sort of banished for the time being. Naruto made shadow clones to work faster. However, he and all of his clones were quickly perplexed by the making of the ramen. "Where's the microwave?" he asked. He though all he had to do was put it in the microwave for 3 minutes and voila!

"Out with you!" The owner shouted and kicked him out, saying that he can't be a chef if he can't even make his favorite food. "And you'd better find some decent cash soon, or else no more ramen from my shop!"

"Fine. Stupid old man," Naruto muttered to himself. "I'll just go ask Sakura for help." Sadly, he couldn't find her and went to ask Tsunade if she might know where she'd be. Tsunade told him she was at the library.

"The library? What's that?" Naruto cocked his head, confused.

Tsunade shook her head. "It's the place with all the books, Naruto." Naruto, still confused, pursed his lips.

"Okay, so I'll be sure never to have you work at the library then. Or any sort of job involving books," she added as an afterthought. She sighed and led Naruto to the library, where Sakura was just leaving. He asked for help with his financial troubles.

"Sorry, Naruto. I'm busy," she said. "Can't you find someone else to do it? I have a party to get to."

"Oh, I'll go with then!" Naruto replied enthusiastically. Parties had lots of people, so maybe one of them could help him!

"Fine, just stay out of my way," Sakura groaned. She knew he'd come either way, so it was pointless to argue.

Along the way, they found Ino. She and Sakura started talking about Sasuke almost immediately.

"He could totally be a supermodel!" Ino exclaimed. Naruto asked her why anyone would want to do that. "It means you're attractive and you can get a lot of money from it," she replied coldly.

Naruto perked up. "I could do that!" If he could be a supermodel, he could pay back the shopkeeper.

After a moment of dead silence, Sakura and Ino started cracking up. "Naruto," Sakura scolded," you could never be a supermodel!"

"Yeah," Ino chimed in. "The image alone is just creepy!"

The two of them left the dismayed Naruto and started dancing. Naruto followed them and tried to get their attention, but they were too busy dancing to notice him. Finally, he decided to join them and started dancing.

Sakura and Ino froze. "What in the world do you think you're doing, Naruto?" Sakura gaped at him.

"I'm dancing, of course!" Naruto proclaimed.

Ino shook her head. "Naruto, what exactly did you mean earlier, when you said you had to pay back the owner of Ichiraku's?"

Naruto explained that he had to pay him back for all the ramen he'd eaten lately.

"Naruto, look," Ino sighed. "If you agree to stop dancing, and _never_ dance in public again, I will pay for your ramen myself."

"Okay!" Naruto was happy to have his problem solved, and he didn't like dancing much anyway. Sakura and Ino walked away laughing.

"Wait! I'm not really that bad, am I?" Naruto called to their backs. They both looked over their shoulders at the same time and yelled back, "Yes!"

Naruto hung his head. _Guess I can't be a dancer either._

**A/N: So, what did you guys think? I know it's a little suckish right now, but that's my fault. Flame does her best to turn my lame ideas into something creative. I dunno, it thought it was pretty funny. I actually thought I'd already posted this chapter, but I guess I forgot. Sorry about that…**

**P.S: Reviews are loved, concrit is appreciated, and your flames are often hilarious. ~Love, Mo**


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